Two stinks and Trouble with a capital "T"

Me, "YOU ARE IN TROUBLE! WE DO NOT
HIT! YOU HAVE A TIME-OUT. STAY HERE.
DO NOT GET UP! I'm going to take pictures
of how naughty you are being to show Nana."

Me some more, "Your nana will be SO sad
to hear that you used your hands for HITTING!
Shall we call Nana and tell her that you're
making poor choices?"

Isaac, "Um, YES, I want to call Nana!"


Me, "It's NOT funny Isaac!"


Of course, Me again, "It's really not. Nobody
likes it when little boys hit. It makes everybody
that loves you so sad."


Still me, "It's so, SO naughty. God
wants you to use your hands for good
things and to help people. NOT for hitting!"


Isaac, "Don't wook at me anymore!"

What's that guideline for timeouts?
It's a minute for every year that they age you, right?
Well...he was there for a while today regardless
of what the dumb guideline actually is.

It takes two freakin' minutes just to get
him to quit hollerin.

I'm such a great parent...fabulous really.
I amaze myself...TWO STINKS, OKAY!

I mean, gosh, you love em' but
when they render every idea and strategy
you've got utterly ineffective on
a daily basis...it's enough to make you NUTS!

I KNOW that he's not brain damaged.
The doctor told me so. SO, when, EXACTLY
is this no-hitting concept gonna sink in?

Did you know that when we tell him
not to hit that he then proceeds through
asking permission for a litany of other
mean things he can do...

Isaac, "Mack (smack)?" Me, "No."
Isaac, "Bite?" Me, "Uh, NO."
Isaac, "Pull Zoe's hair?" Me, "NOOOOOOO!
We don't do mean things with our hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Two stinks.