seeking HIS face...

i spent the day following where The Holy Spirit led and am utterly overwhelmed at the blessing i received by being obedient to that leading. i am ever undeserving but ever awash with gratitude because God doesn't care that i am wretched little me. HE loves me, saves me, waits for me, runs to me when i seek him and longs to hear me anyway. WHY do i forget that i have immediate access to my creator at anytime about anything? WHY do i not seek HIS face more? LORD have mercy, but this world is distracting and HOW i long for the things of it to grow dim so that I can focus on HIS voice. Such drenching peace comes when i do. i praise HIS holy name that he has chosen to make Himself known to me.

Devotions of Peace...

From Jesus Calling by Sarah Young...

Seek my face, and you will find not only My Presence but also
My Peace. To receive My Peace, you must change
your grasping, controlling stance to one of openness
and trust. The only thing you can grasp without
damaging your soul is My hand. Ask My Spirit
within you to order your day and control your
thoughts, for the mind controlled
by the Spirit is Life and Peace.

You can have as much of Me and My Peace
as you want, through thousands of correct
choices each day. The most persistent choice you face
is whether to trust me or to worry. You will never run
out of things to worry about, but you can choose
to trust me no matter what. I am an ever-present
help in trouble. Trust Me, though the earth give
way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.

Romans 8:6, Psalm 46:1-2

The Birdhouse Beckons

dedicated to Megan...

outside my kitchen window,
in the blowing snow
a birdhouse dances warmly
setting souls aglow.

eagerly she dances
despite the creak and strain
testifying to anyone
while ignoring all her pain.

she is God's little birdhouse
belonging just to him
beckoning spring and glory
for all who hope in HIM.

Pray HARD...please.

I'm so angry. She just had her birthday. Her hair is growing back.
She's looking so healthy again. GOD, I HATE CANCER!
please, pray for this devastated family. Pray for the healing
of this little girl. Pray that this latest scan is wrong.
It's too much, Dear Jesus...it's too much.
I've had a heart full of burden to pray for her since
she was diagnosed at five. Please join me!
She needs all the prayer she can get.
Her father, Aaron, is a pastor. Their family is a living,
breathing testimony of solid faith in Jesus Christ
and they are suffering so much. My heart breaks.

PRAY...

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate

12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the
rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world
and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when
the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground,
and after you have done everything, to stand. Ephesians 6:12

Make a memory...

Dear God, I know I've been complaining A LOT lately about all
the things that I have to do. You know I've been wishing for a
pause button for my life, a chance to just...slow...down.

I understand that very often you hear me thinking about
how I want to freeze every...little...moment with my kids and I
want to remember...OH, GOD, how I want to remember
every...little...thing. It flies by...our life...before I can even blink.

I'm scared...scared I won't make enough memories to remember.
-Scared I won't have played enough, laughed enough, loved enough...

Then, I think, "I must do MORE."
Bake more cookies, make more crafts
(okay some crafts...they are boys afterall),
tickle more, talk more, play more, read more...
more, mORe, MORE.
I do this until all MY expectations for my own mothering
are teetering, dangerously, above me
and begin to topple...crumbling in.

OVERWHELMED.

I am forever behind...behind on things I love like
cooking, blogging and writing...behind on things I don't love
like laundry, cleaning and repairing...behind on things
that drive me crazy like my recent attempt at
some graduate work that's, sadly, just plain necessary.

I'm tired, God...tired of running and chasing and catching up
but you know that. I know I need to back away from life.
You KNOW I need to back away from life and concentrate on
things that matter like prayer and studying your word and
making moments with my kids...

SO, today, the world is actually freezing, right as I type.
Mother nature is hitting the pause button,
pretty dang HARD, across 30 some odd states.

Lord, please be with us all, keep people safe and
help ME use this...time...wisely.

One of my sweet mother's favorite sayings is,
"Make a memory." Help me, God, to do
just that. I want to make a memory with those
two little boys you've let me borrow and with you,
Holy Father...I want to spend some time with you.
Help me use this deep freeze to thaw out my mind and soul
and give it back to you. My heart is all yours.

Amen.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your mind."
Matthew 22:37