Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by
MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what
she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
It was not me who seriously considered approaching nice, pretty, respectful, wholesome, and stunningly intelligent, teen-age fitness instructor at kid-gym with the proposition that she voluntarily freeze herself with some sort of state of the art, deep space-travel type of cryogenic technology and await my oldest son's coming of age so that he could marry her.
Also, not me, who over Sunday brunch, SERIOUSLY, inquired of the potentially betrothed nine-year old groom, if he thought she was cute. Not me, who spun gloriously, fantastic tale of an arranged marriage with the junior-in-high-school-fitness-instructor that makes him do push-ups just to freak him out as he was eating his brunch slurping up runny egg-yolks to gross out his dad who hates any egg that is not scrambled. Needless to say, he was more interested in the fear-factor element that he was bringing to the table for his dad than the great girl I was trying to get him to crush on. (Please, God, let him have good, beautiful, pure taste in women and pick someone like Elise!)
Also, not me, who over Sunday brunch, SERIOUSLY, inquired of the potentially betrothed nine-year old groom, if he thought she was cute. Not me, who spun gloriously, fantastic tale of an arranged marriage with the junior-in-high-school-fitness-instructor that makes him do push-ups just to freak him out as he was eating his brunch slurping up runny egg-yolks to gross out his dad who hates any egg that is not scrambled. Needless to say, he was more interested in the fear-factor element that he was bringing to the table for his dad than the great girl I was trying to get him to crush on. (Please, God, let him have good, beautiful, pure taste in women and pick someone like Elise!)
It would NEVER be me *gasp* who would wave the white flag of surrender and quit, entirely, trying to get both sons to stop turning every toy, some furniture, most utensils and their entire little bodies into guns, swords and various other pieces of weaponry for constant pretend shoot-outs, sword fights, light saber battles, launches, and Tai-Chi showdowns AND assist whining 4 year-old testosterone-junkie who could not figure out how to help Obi-Wan escape his liquid suspension incarceration cell on the Wii by taking my light saber (Wii remote) and attacking the Lego Clone Troopers in my immediate vicinity.
It was not me, in same attempt to help Obi-Wan, who took off FOUR heads of little Lego bad guys in my first two swings with my Wii remote light saber ON ACCIDENT bringing my exuberant 4 year-old macho man to his feet howling with delight. Ugh...
Not me, who crinkled up my book-snob nose at my book club's potentially STINKY suggestion that we read "Twilight" *current insanely popular teenage romance novel and movie* and then haughtily acquire it from my teenage niece exclaiming that I couldn't believe that we were gonna read this prepubescent...scratch that...fully-pubescent drivel and then proceed to read it through in a single day. I would NEVER do that. (It was rainy...everyone was quiet and sleepy and I had a book in my hand, what would you do?)
Not me, who went to teenage niece the very next day for the second book and realizing she wasn't home basically broke into her room and got the sequel out of her nightstand anyways. Also, not me who totally got busted when she walked in on me as I was getting it. It was not me who then got laughed at.
Not me who then went downstairs and shared parts of an ice-cream sandwich and three giant pickles with little 5 year-old niece as she repeatedly reminded me how much she likes my pancakes while she kept trying to make biscuits. (I reckon she was hungry.)
AND it was not me, never, NO, never who played "Hug and Nap" with my 4 year-old ninja after getting his brother on the bus until 12:00 pm today (YEP, LADIES, THAT'S NOON) while the "hugee" got to watch THREE BIG, FAT HOURS of PBS. I, of course, was not, would never be, the "napper". (Jealous? If you've never played "Hug and Nap" with a toddler, you've not lived. Naps are luxurious even when they're naps filled with mommy-sleep...Ahhhhhh, yes!)
Have a good week of total mommy perfection everyone! I know I will!
:) Jeri
It was not me, in same attempt to help Obi-Wan, who took off FOUR heads of little Lego bad guys in my first two swings with my Wii remote light saber ON ACCIDENT bringing my exuberant 4 year-old macho man to his feet howling with delight. Ugh...
Not me, who crinkled up my book-snob nose at my book club's potentially STINKY suggestion that we read "Twilight" *current insanely popular teenage romance novel and movie* and then haughtily acquire it from my teenage niece exclaiming that I couldn't believe that we were gonna read this prepubescent...scratch that...fully-pubescent drivel and then proceed to read it through in a single day. I would NEVER do that. (It was rainy...everyone was quiet and sleepy and I had a book in my hand, what would you do?)
Not me, who went to teenage niece the very next day for the second book and realizing she wasn't home basically broke into her room and got the sequel out of her nightstand anyways. Also, not me who totally got busted when she walked in on me as I was getting it. It was not me who then got laughed at.
Not me who then went downstairs and shared parts of an ice-cream sandwich and three giant pickles with little 5 year-old niece as she repeatedly reminded me how much she likes my pancakes while she kept trying to make biscuits. (I reckon she was hungry.)
AND it was not me, never, NO, never who played "Hug and Nap" with my 4 year-old ninja after getting his brother on the bus until 12:00 pm today (YEP, LADIES, THAT'S NOON) while the "hugee" got to watch THREE BIG, FAT HOURS of PBS. I, of course, was not, would never be, the "napper". (Jealous? If you've never played "Hug and Nap" with a toddler, you've not lived. Naps are luxurious even when they're naps filled with mommy-sleep...Ahhhhhh, yes!)
Have a good week of total mommy perfection everyone! I know I will!
:) Jeri
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