Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by
MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what
she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what
she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
It WAS NOT ME who did not post her "Not Me Monday" last week because everyone in the whole house was getting sick.
It IS NOT ME who is gonna post a huge one, right now, that will most certainly count for two weeks.
It WAS NOT ME who was at various Drs. Offices Tuesday through Thursday sometimes multiple times a day. It is not my entire family who is on some form of antibiotic. The picture below is not proof.
It WAS NOT ME who managed to keep track of everyone else's various medications only to over-medicated myself on Zyrtec TWICE. (Okay, listen...we had two ear-infections, one sinus infection, pink-eye and a ruptured ear drum JUST last week. I was a bit addled.)
It WAS NOT ME who offered EVERYTHING short of women and liquor to my 4 year-old if he would just be still and relax while I squirted antibiotic eye-ointment into his lower eyelid. The bribe list did not include coke, chips, gummy bears, TV shows, presents and unlimited access to his brother's toys. It was also not me who got fairly adept at pinning his little screaming body down while pulling open his tightly shut eyelids and squirting a 1/4 inch strip of the damn ointment in his eye while he was hollering bloody murder and then give him the agreed upon bribe anyways. It was not me who vehemently thought that someone should be around to BRIBE ME to put the medicine in. It WOULD NOT BE ME who would TOTALLY accept bribes for that.
It WAS NOT ME who plotted various forms of torture for doctors and pharmacologists who develop such medications that have to be administered to small children in such ridiculously difficult ways. It was also not me who was immediately repentant and overwhelmingly thankful for medication and easy access to it only to start the hate/love process all over again during the next wrestling match to get the eye-ointment in yet again. THREE TIMES A DAY!!!!
It WAS NOT ME who got hopelessly behind on laundry with everyone's ears and noses and eyes leaking contaminate goo.
It IS NOT ME who is gonna post a huge one, right now, that will most certainly count for two weeks.
It WAS NOT ME who was at various Drs. Offices Tuesday through Thursday sometimes multiple times a day. It is not my entire family who is on some form of antibiotic. The picture below is not proof.
It WAS NOT ME who managed to keep track of everyone else's various medications only to over-medicated myself on Zyrtec TWICE. (Okay, listen...we had two ear-infections, one sinus infection, pink-eye and a ruptured ear drum JUST last week. I was a bit addled.)
It WAS NOT ME who offered EVERYTHING short of women and liquor to my 4 year-old if he would just be still and relax while I squirted antibiotic eye-ointment into his lower eyelid. The bribe list did not include coke, chips, gummy bears, TV shows, presents and unlimited access to his brother's toys. It was also not me who got fairly adept at pinning his little screaming body down while pulling open his tightly shut eyelids and squirting a 1/4 inch strip of the damn ointment in his eye while he was hollering bloody murder and then give him the agreed upon bribe anyways. It was not me who vehemently thought that someone should be around to BRIBE ME to put the medicine in. It WOULD NOT BE ME who would TOTALLY accept bribes for that.
It WAS NOT ME who plotted various forms of torture for doctors and pharmacologists who develop such medications that have to be administered to small children in such ridiculously difficult ways. It was also not me who was immediately repentant and overwhelmingly thankful for medication and easy access to it only to start the hate/love process all over again during the next wrestling match to get the eye-ointment in yet again. THREE TIMES A DAY!!!!
It WAS NOT ME who got hopelessly behind on laundry with everyone's ears and noses and eyes leaking contaminate goo.
It WAS NOT ME who was silly enough to take a picture of the size of my new jeans from the consignment store just to help myself believe it was actually true.
It WAS NOT ME who cleaned out the freezer and then proceeded to concoct a bizarre cake from freezer contents that did not get tossed out. It was not my husband and children who happily, greedily, gobbled down weird cake affectionately dubbed "glop cake" since in order to get into the jeans pictured above, I don't bake anything lately.
It WAS NOT ME who didn't realize that the evite invitation that I received for a celebratory kegger from someone I didn't know was not, in fact, generated FROM my evite account. It was not me who in a horrified impetus called the host of the kegger and left her a message to get her own freakin' account because mine was for ministry purposes and I couldn't have kegger invitations sent to the parents receiving respite from our ministry at church. It was not me who then REALIZED that it was an inadvertant invitation NOT generated from my account. It was not me who then left kegger host another message apologizing profusely about the mix up and my haste. It was not me who got a call back from seriously amused kegger host further explaining the mistaken invitation. It was not me who realized that kegger host was a friend of a friend who would no doubt soon know about my lunacy. It was not me who then seriously wished that I was really invited to said kegger after the stupid, STUPID week I'd had.
Lord help me! I'm CRAZY!
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