Toddler Trouble

If you're lookin' for trouble...
you came to the right place.

I guess it SHOULD be common sense
but the "What to Expect the Toddler Years"
book does NOT have a chapter entitled
"ARE YOU NUTS? Don't get a puppy when
the baby is two and other mistakes that
will knock you on your a@#" ;)

SERIOUSLY...I have a two year old who
won't make poo in the potty but hates
(insert scream, yell, tantrum) when you
go to change his diaper because he made
poo in there. The dog ACTUALLY does
make poo, VERY LARGE POO outside (now) BUT
as of today is requiring two different kinds
of ear medication that must be precisely measured
and administered with an inordinately long-pokey-probably-
could-rupture-his-ear-drum syringe deep into
his doggie ear canal. So, picture, me
wrestling LARGE playful, floppy puppy
who does not want his ears messed with (this process
takes approximately 184 hours) during which
said poo-o-phobic two year old
decides to poo in his diaper and begins
a level 4 meltdown with sirens wailing
while I'm trying NOT to puncture the dogs
eardrum even if I can manage to squirt
the stuff in his ear after I risk life and limb
to get it out of his large and toothy doggie mouth.
INSANITY...Complete insanity.
I say that because I think
I'm sort of having fun.
(help!)